dollop of solipsism

tristan and i got to the ymca at 10:30am sunday morning, where we met our ymca korean language instructor. he gave us a ride to and from kirsty’s wedding, which was taking place a 20 minute drive outside of daegu (buses don’t even go there). kirsty is a fellow native english instructor (she teaches elementary school), and a few years back, she met a korean guy (actually, i think she was his english teacher) and they fell in love. sunday was their wedding day.

and it was hot. a hot hot day. the ceremony started at noon in a wedding hall in seong ju (a small town out west). the bride wore an off the shoulder, wide v-neck cream gown adorned with sequins. a crown was placed on her head for special shine, and held in her hands a fragrant bouquet of peach roses. the groom donned a matching tux and a neverending smile. he has one of those happy faces.

her parents had just landed in korea and were basically fish out of australian water. they didn’t know where to look, what to do, and probably wondered why they had to bow so friggin much. his parents were pretty korean, stoic. his mother wore a hanbok, the traditional korean garb for females.

the ceremony (read: light show) started at noon. the groom stood at the altar (?) as kirsty’s dad walked her down the aisle. i’ve seen 27 dresses so i know not to look at the bride. instead i focused on the groom’s face as he watched his future wife come to him. his happy face looked pretty happy. then an old korean frog yammered on for 15 minutes, preaching about happiness, love, judgment, duties… tristan and i sat in the front row and whispered to each other about our future imaginary weddings. i told her i wanted my wedding to be in black and white, with soft lighting and an ambience of sorrow (“like a funeral?” she asked). all of my closest friends and a select few family members will be present (my father? check. my mother? no), and there will be no one there whom i wouldn’t know (certainly not a random korean woman tugging at my dress every five minutes while i was getting friggin married! i’ve been to two korean weddings and both times, there has been a korean woman fussing with the dress constantly—moving the train this way and that, making sure the bride is holding the dress properly, smoothing out the wrinkles, basically ruining every picture taken of the bride and groom).

soon, it was over and there was time for group pictures, followed by the throwing of the bouquet. and of course tristan caught it, which literally obliterates any ‘you really will be the next to get married’ stigma associated with that tradition. the other women fawned over the bouquet and tristan continued to let them believe that i was her boyfriend. hi will, meet grace.

then we crossed the parking lot and ate catered food (read: buffet). it was okay food, better than the food at the last wedding ceremony i attended (unlimited soju, beer, and pepsi). at korean weddings we don’t give gifts but white envelopes full of money. thirty thousand won ($30) is pretty standard. so really, that buffet wasn’t free, now was it?

and yes, i made it through the entire post without saying anything remotely racist. kudos to me, i get a treat.

on thursday, tristan came to my house for some tv watchin and big eatin. once in a blue moon, we plan a sleepover (at my house or her house) and agree that whatever food we eat is calorie-less. this time, we watched the latest season of project runway (first two episodes) and a huge chunk of the biggest loser, season 4. during this time, we snacked on soy sauce chicken (fried chicken with soy sauce flavoring), cheese bite pepperoni pizza, and pepsi. all that food and zero calories!

the biggest loser is a reality show that airs on nbc in the united states. several countries have adopted the program and made it their own. the premise: a large group of overweight contestants are divided into teams, must complete challenges and grueling workouts, and lose (huge amounts of) weight to stay in the game. it is a 3 and a half month process, and each team’s trainer helps contestants throughout. it is one of my favorite reality programs because the stakes are so different from other competitions (like survivor, american idol, the amazing race, etc.). staying an extra week on the show gives the obese folk time to learn from the incredible trainers. the longer they stay at the ‘biggest loser ranch’ or ‘biggest loser campus,’ the greater the chance that they’ll succeed in the ‘real world.’ it’s not totally about the fame and fortune (the prize is $250k), but about gaining a completely new way of life. the other shows don’t really offer contestants that.

while the show is on tv, tristan and i will usually text each other messages such as ‘i am in tears,’ ‘this is heart-wrenching,’ and ‘i can’t watch this.’ it truly is a touching show, for me at least. i grew up fat and know what it means to hate yourself. you can always tell when someone used to be fat because they give off a (forever) residual insecurity. one of the contestants said it well, ‘it’s like alcoholism. it’s always there.’

so it was fitting that as we saw fat people lose weight, tristan and i stuffed our faces full of grease, soda, and carbs. at 1am, we called it quits and went to bed. the next morning, we caught several more episodes while eating bacon, jam and bread, fried eggs, and pineapples. it was my first time cutting a whole pineapple (difficult!). and then i walked my friend to the subway in pouring rain. we’re on holiday, so we can do whatever we want. today, tristan informed me that she purchased a membership to a gym and bought herself a personal trainer. this morning they lunged, stretched, lunged, ran, lunged, stretched. ’soon i will be smokin hot. or dead.’

yesterday, while doing a little exercise, i felt a slight discomfort in my lower back. knowing my body pretty well, i knew it was time to stop. at the time, i could still move around freely with only a slight pinch in my lower vertebrae. i bent down to pick up the weights in order to place them in the corner. bad idea. the second i bent down, it felt like a knife went through my back.

and so i’ve done it again. this always happens every 3 or 4 months, usually after i exercise for a consecutive number of days. and because these back problems prevent me from further exercise, i end up not making any progress in the health department. it’s my fault really. i should see an acupuncturist about this. or not exercise so damn hard.

anywho, i’m determined to go to seoul anyway later today, even with a kinked back. last night, i couldn’t stand up straight or make any suddent movements. you can imagine what kind of sleep i had. and today i have to teach at a stupid stupid english camp at an elementary school all the way out in the middle of nowhere. if i have to hunch like a grandma, at least the kids will be short enough for me to look at. at the moment, i can stand up straight. but it’s morning.

will be MIA for the next couple of days because i’ll be in seoul, obviously not dancing.

it’s the last day of school. i came in at exactly 8:30am, when everyone was marching toward the auditorium to attend the closing ceremony. on the way up the stairs to my classroom, a (much older) male teacher handed me a plum. i said thank you. i came into my classroom, bit into the plum and it was sour. very very sour.

a few minutes later, one of my four co-teachers, mr. choi (the one who frustrates me the most in class) came into my classroom with a student at his side. mr. choi took several pictures of me at my desk and the student took one of the two of us together. i like mr. choi outside of class. he’s kind and old (61) and gentle. but he’s a crap teacher.

i’ve resorted to the fact that the english newspaper won’t be completely proofread or edited by the end of today, so i don’t even want to look at it. i’m still receiving articles from the lazier students as we speak, so how can i continue when i don’t even have all the articles yet? yesterday, i made a small mock-up of the newspaper, complete with the layout of content and pictures. i’ll work on it some more over summer vacation.

since today is the last day of school, there will be a teachers lunch at 11:30am. we’ll go to a korean barbecue place, drink, be merry. it’s my last eating thingy with the teachers at this school, so perhaps it’ll be required of me to make a small farewell speech. i hope that doesn’t happen. i despise these social functions, these lunches and dinners, and office parties. they are awkward and the pervasive sense of obligation makes me resentful. argh, i don’t like spending time with co-workers outside of work; it’s a waste of time.

speaking of wasting time. on sunday, i watched one of my favorite korean shows currently airing (on mbc) called we got married (우리 결혼했어요: it’s a variety show featuring 8 celebrities (4 male, 4 female), who are paired up as (imaginary) couples and we just basically watch each ‘couple’ spend time with each other—believe me, it’s more entertaining than it reads…amanda tells me you can watch english subtitled episodes over at crunchyroll). the show is incredibly adorable (and ridiculous). i wonder why americans don’t have variety shows quite like this in the US. i can imagine edie falco and tina fey pretending to be a married lesbian couple shopping for ikea furniture. who wouldn’t want to see that? that could be an entire episode. americans take things so seriously… while watching the show, i heard a song by alex, (알렉스, one of the featured males) who is from the music group clazziquai (클래지콰이). i did some research on clazziquai and learned that they came into fame as a result of their music being used in one of the highest-rated drama series in korea, my name is kim sam soon (내 이름은 김삼순).

since i haven’t been keeping my promise to learn korean, i figured why not watch korean dramas to pick up the language? i’ve gotten to the point where i don’t get frustrated when i don’t understand something, and i can pretty much grasp 40-50% of conversations. this would kill two birds with one stone: learn korean, entertain myself. so for the past couple of days i’ve been downloading the series (and the english subs) and right now, i’m in the middle of episode 2 (of 16). i LOVE it. the drama is about unfortunately named kim sam soon, a 30-year old unmarried, ‘overweight,’ bridget jonesian korean woman on her quest for love and professional bliss. it was a big ratings hit in korea (the final episode had 50% of households tuning in) and catapulted several actors to superstardom. i look forward to finishing the series and continuing on to another korean series. suggestions, anyone?