dollop of solipsism

i went to downtown daegu today and got myself a coat in a boutique store on rodeo street. it’s a dark blue, double-breasted, waist-length coat that cost me ₩70,000 (≈$60.00). i adore the weird, high collar. i have to take it to the tailor tomorrow to have all of the buttons resewn on tighter, and to have the single vent in the back sewn shut. also, it’s an XL because korean males are so friggin skinny it’s wrong. now, what is the answer to this question, “how do i look?”

♦ the iPhone will hit the shelves tomorrow, and, even though i know it’s wrong, i totally want one. through government intervention, south korea had been able to keep apple from entering the korean cellphone market for years. this allowed homegrown companies like samsung and LG to dominate in sales (together, they sell around 90% of the nation’s cellphones).

in a technologically advanced nation where 90% of the population own a mobile phone, apple faces stiff competition from domestic companies. however, the iPhone is being introduced as one of the first high-profile smartphones to be offered in korea, and that’s a good thing (KT has already gotten 50,000 advanced orders); many koreans will want the power to access the internet whenever, wherever. [let me clarify: korean cell phones, like the beloved's haptic, can connect to the internet, but it's expensive and the phone companies charge by the minute. it's not an all-access thing like the iPhone.]

cellphones to koreans is like bread to the french. it’s life. i’ve already written about how important these little gadgets are to the citizens of this country, so i won’t reiterate that here. what i do want to say is, i can’t believe that i want an iPhone. i mean, me owning an iPod is enough of a nod to apple’s chic products (i was hardcore anti-apple back in the day), but what is it about the iPhone? well, it’s a phone and a computer and a camera and an iPod all rolled into one. furthermore, i’m still struggling with the hangeul keypad on my cyon lollipop that i bought in june (i miss anycall’s hangeul keypad), and i need a new mp3 player (mine is dying a slow death). are those enough reasons for me to get a new phone? absolutely not…

i’m just attracted to shiny and new things. argh!

♦ miss son (she and i co-teach the english reading class) informed me two days ago that EPIK has invited the two of us to do a lesson/lecture for a large audience of native english teachers (as part of their training) in kyeongju in mid-december. i was excited about it at first because i like the fact that people think i’m qualified to lecture about, well, anything, and also because i’m an attention whore, but after much thought, i don’t believe it’s such a good idea.

first off, the majority of the listeners will be elementary and middle school teachers. miss son and i teach at not just a high school, but a foreign language high school, where the students are bright and ambitious and able to speak in english without difficulty.

second, i don’t like to stand in front of a bunch of disgruntled, gross foreigners who will undoubtedly heckle me during the presentation (yes, my view of the world is slanted). i don’t know if the training is voluntary or mandatory, and whether the attendees are experienced or inexperienced teachers. from my own personal experience with large groups of foreigners, they’re not “gee, i think i can learn something from so-and-so” people. they’re more like, quite-pleased-with-themselves jerks. so i’m cynical.

third, we were invited by the same people who recorded our demonstration class a few weeks ago; and they concluded, wow, miss son and william work well together and their lesson was interesting, so let’s have them present a lesson to foreigners—except, let’s request that they dumb down their lesson so as to suit the level of students these foreigners are teaching. you see, miss son and william teach higher level material (high school level textbooks provided by the government are too easy for taegu foreign language high school students), so it’s not gonna help a bunch of people who teach out of a textbook to students who aren’t fluent in english.

okay then, why the eff did you ask us to lecture?

i’m calling this coordinator lady on monday to get more information. well, i’m actually going to yell at her because i was excited about the whole thing and now i’m gonna have to decline the invitation. we were probably gonna get paid for this lecture and i’d get to ride on a train to kyeongju and they were gonna put us up in a hotel…

sigh. we’ll see if we’ll gonna do this lecture thingy.

♦ i have an inconvenient truth and walmart: the high cost of low price on my computer. apparently, i’m on some kind of documentary kick (saw food, inc. last weekend). i am excited but also afraid to watch these films.

there are so many things we have to consider while living our lives. we have to think about where our food comes from, where our clothes come from, what we’re doing to the rainforest, what kind of light bulbs we should be using, how long the computer has been on, whether our actions have consequences, and the implications of our actions…i mean, i just want to eat ice cream cake and watch 30 rock, lay off the guilt.

• i am healthy, and so are the members of my family. my dog jj, who turned 15 on october 1st, is still alive and kickin’ (and he’s a big dog).
• i have the greatest friends. most of them live in the states (all scattered about), but we remain in constant contact with each other. my life would not be as meaningful without them.
• the significant other and i will be celebrating our 800th day together in six days. this is the longest relationship i’ve ever been in, and it’s still every bit as comfortable and loving and joyous and grounded and nourishing as it was on day one, if not more.
• my job still interests me. yes, a few things are frustrating, but i am extremely lucky to be working in such a good school. the support of the english staff, along with the countless inquisitive, bright students make me want to go to work every morning (gone are those days (remember two years ago?) when i would be tempted to ::cough:: ”call in sick”).
• though i just turned 27 (i will be turning 29 on january 1st), i am still constantly mistaken for high school student.
• great television: glee, 30 rock, grey’s anatomy, lost, project runway, top chef, the office, ugly betty, mad men, etc.
• the end of the school year is approaching, and i am so looking forward to some vacation days in january or february. i believe winter is the best time to travel in korea, so i think i will try to travel more in the coming months.
• i don’t mean to come across as a narcissist, but i genuinely like myself, and i like that people respond well to me. well, the people who don’t respond well to me, i couldn’t care less about, but the people who do respond well to me, respond to the fact that, even though i am, at times, an ass, i’m being myself. and if being myself doesn’t make people turn around and walk the other way, then…that’s a good thing.
• repeat from last year: in alice munro’s short story ‘powers’ a character named ollie talks about how when we’re young we are inside this ‘box.’ there, we live with the intention of doing something with our lives that is meaningful and big and great and effective to others. eventually though, you get out of said ‘box’ and realize that perhaps, just perhaps, your life is just ordinary. i’m not out of that ‘box’ just yet.
• things that bring me joy: oprah winfrey; the stray dog in my neighborhood who has learned to wait (next to pedestrians) for the crosswalk light to turn green before crossing the street; extraordinary movies; catchy pop songs; ice cream cake; cuddling in bed; air-conditioning; unexpected gifts; sharing stories through blogging; eating food you yourself cooked; being recognized for your hard work; having students like you; kim yu-na; being remembered; entertainment weekly; restarting my book club (i do this every year!); neatly pressed shirts; benzoyl peroxide; cleaning out the beloved’s ears; cracking the beloved’s back…

happy thanksgiving!

a lot of my friends ask me, “so…are you going to stay in korea for ever?” i’d like to tell them “no,” but i enjoy my life here so much that i’m unwilling to plan a return date home.

when i was younger, i used to imagine that i possessed the power to uproot the korean peninsula and stick it onto the eastern coast of texas; that way, my relatives in korea wouldn’t be so far away from houston. again i find myself wishing for that power so that i can be closer to my immediate family and friends who live in the states.

but alas, no. i live on the other side of the world, thousands of miles away. this is a fact.

before i applied to EPIK and got offered a position as an english instructor in daegu, south korea, i didn’t know that the economy would turn to shit in the fall of 2008. during those rough couple of months, i considered myself lucky that i was financially secure with a relatively stable job that paid relatively well. and that’s one of the reasons why i wouldn’t mind staying in korea for a longer period of time (i’m on my fourth year)—the economic benefits of living in korea (as an ex-pat, mind you, not as a korean citizen).

so here, i’d like to be open about my finances and give you (you?) a better idea of what it’s like to live in korea, economically speaking. all of the figures below are pretty accurate, and reflect last month’s income/expenses (october 2009). i will be converting the korean won into US dollars using the current exchange rate of ₩1160=$1.00.

income
the daegu metropolitan office of education pays me ₩2,400,000 (≈$2,069). the school takes out ₩86,360 for health insurance (≈$74), and ₩4,120 (≈$3.50) for some weird national long-term care insurance (노인장기요양보험). national pension is taken out every month; mine works out to ₩105,300 (≈$91). the thing about national pension is, i get all of it back when i leave korea. thus, i’ve accumulated close to $6,000 in the last three years; i will be seeing this money when i return to the states.

housing
the school i work at gets a ₩370,000 (≈$319) allowance from the education center every month to cover my rent. the mini-two room i currently live in costs ₩400,000 a month. therefore, the school has been deducting ₩30,000 (≈$29) from my income every month. having my housing paid for is probably the sweetest part of my contract.

all in all, after deductions, the school deposits ₩2,174,220 (≈$1,874) into my bank account on the 25th of every month.

jesus, when i write it all out like this, i don’t think i make a lot of money ::shrug:: well, let’s move on.

monthly costs
cell phone: ₩40,110 (≈$35, varies month to month)
basic cable: ₩7,700 (≈$6.60, fixed)
hi-speed internet: ₩30,680 (≈$26.40, fixed)
gas: ₩16,830 (≈14.50, higher in the winter (due to ondol))
electricity: ₩8,860 (≈$7.60, higher in the summer (due to a/c)
haircut: ₩13,000 (≈$11.20 (once a month))

therefore, ₩2,174,220 – monthly costs = ₩2,057,040 (≈$1,773).

i usually send over ₩1,000,000 (≈$862) to my wamu chase bank account in the states; i pay my credit card bills and student loans with that money. so let’s say, i sent ₩1,200,000 (≈$1,034) last month.

was i then able to survive an entire month on just ₩857,040 (≈$739)? of course. i live in korea.

usually, i spend 50% of the money left in my account and save the rest. with the 50% of the money i spend, i still manage to a) eat, b) go out, and c) live comfortably. of course, there are other expenses that i did not calculate into the equation. transportation, for example.

transportation
daegu, like every major korean city, has a wonderfully efficient public transportation system. each subway/bus ride costs ₩950 (≈$0.82) if you have the rechargeable metro card. you can get almost everywhere by using public transportion.

taxis are a little bit more costly, but nothing compared to, say, new york city. the initial flagfall is ₩2200 (≈$1.90) in the daytime, ₩2400 (≈$2.07) after 11pm. i only take cabs after the buses (approximately 10:30pm) and subways (approximately 11:30pm) stop running, and i’ve never paid more than ₩15,000 (≈$12.93) on cab fare from the middle of daegu to my home (and i live pretty far from downtown).

food
food is ridiculously inexpensive. you can eat a decent meal for less than ₩10,000 (≈$8.62), and that’s if you’re at a restaurant and you’re being picky. at a bunshik restaurant (korean diner), you can eat a hearty meal for less than ₩5,000 (≈$4.31). the awesomest thing about dining out in korea is the fact that there is no tipping. how much do i love the concept of no tipping? SO much.

tax
i’m not an expert on tax in korea, so i may be giving out erroneous information. from my experience, i’ve noticed that there is no sales tax on food, drinks, clothes, etc. tax may be included in the price, but i’m not aware of such things. the only time i notice that there is tax is when i’m at a nice restaurant (like outback steakhouse) and there’s a VAT on the receipt. i only see VATs when i’m at a fancy restaurant that serves western cuisine.

i’m not much of a help here. and i’m completely unaware of how income tax works for foreigners. as far as i’m concerned, i pay almost nothing in terms of annual income tax. this past winter (koreans do their taxes in january, i think), ms. suh, my supervisor, basically informed me that i didn’t make enough money to be taxed…or she said something like i owed less than ₩50,000 or something. it was such a non-event that i’ve completely erased it from my mind. sorry.

extra income
according to most contracts for english-teaching positions in korea (whether at a school or a hagwon), a foreign worker cannot do private tutoring or hold a second/part-time job anywhere. i personally do not have any jobs outside of the daegu metropolitan office of education because i’m a rule follower. i often hear stories about various teachers doing private tutoring jobs; it is illegal. that being said, i know that these tutoring jobs pay a whole lot of money. i’ve been tempted, but i stick to the conditions of my contract.

one of the bonuses of being part of the staff at taegu foreign language high school is that i get to teach the middle school classes for gifted students (i talk about that class a lot). for one teaching hour, the school pays me ₩50,000 (≈$43). the entire course is 40 hours, and i teach both A and B class (which totals to 80 hours), so for this year alone, i supplemented my regular income by ₩4,000,000 (≈$3,448); ain’t too shabby, and i enjoy the work.

finally
the point of this post isn’t “wow, i’m saving a lot of money and i’m paying off my credit card debt and student loans and my life is so much better now that i’m living in korea.” yeah, that isn’t really the case. almost every one of my friends makes more money than i do, or they’ll make more money than i will in the future (and they have access to tacos). the point of this post is more like “i really like living in korea, and here are some of the reasons why i like it.”

if i hadn’t come to korea in the fall of 2006, i don’t know where i’d be now. probably really angry about having to pay for shitty health insurance, for one. probably living at home (which is great, but also not great). probably working at a job i don’t like very much. probably struggling to pay for a car (and gas). probably single. but instead, i’m here, and this is my life right now, and i’m comfortable with how things are going.

i hope i don’t jinx myself, cuz that would really really suck.

i mean, if you only had to pay $6.60 for cable tv, wouldn’t you also stay??

as i had planned, a good portion of saturday evening was spent watching the M.net asian music awards (MAMAs). it was mindless entertainment, all in korean, and i didn’t once get frustrated with the language barrier. somehow, within the last two years or so, i’ve gotten used to just hearing korean without feeling the need to understand every single word.

during the entire five-hour extravaganza (including the red carpet arrivals), i lay on my bed and watched the MAMAs. i watched the presenters banter awkwardly with each other. i watched the producers’ attempts to make the show relevant by having segments in french, chinese and japanese. i saw how, as is always the case, only the groups who bothered to show up collected awards (in tears, naturally). i watched 2pm win the “artist of the year” trophy. i was moved by their performance of “again & again” (which, i must admit, is an amazing pop song) because they left their former leader jaebum’s place in the choreography open.

all that and i let it sink in. all that korean. all the words and sentences i understood, and all the ones i didn’t understand. i have gotten used to the sound of korean. maybe three years ago, i watched onstyle exclusively for its english-speaking content (onstyle broadcasts a lot of addictive american shows (like antm)), but now i don’t discriminate as much between the 80 channels on my tv.

truth be told, approximately one-third of the channels on cable show english-speaking material regularly: csi, csi: miami, cold case, law & order, grey’s anatomy, mission: impossible (is always on!), the transporter (is always on!), the shawshank redemption, pride & prejudice (the keira knightley version) and friggin love actually (which is, unfortunately, always on!). if it wasn’t for the smell of kimchi in my refrigerator, i’d say i was basically living in the US.

thus, i’ve been rightly craving something other than full-screen abominations of american entertainment (of middling quality). recently, i’ve been watching a lot of korean programs. the two that i regularly watch air on sunday evenings, and are in the distinctly korean “reality-variety” format. they are: season 2 of we got married (우리 결혼했어요) and 1 night 2 days (1박 2일).

we got married is a brilliant show in concept (it has been suggested that MBC plagiarized the idea off of a japanese program―so what else is new?). you take two celebrities, pair them up as a couple, and have them act as a real married couple. you make them take wedding album photos, you give them a living space to decorate, you have them introduce their new husbands/wives to the others’ parents, and sometimes you make them, like, complete ‘missions’ (e.g. give your husband a makeover, visit your husband’s place of work).

i talked briefly about the show last year, when the show’s creative juices were at their peak, but since the departure of the show’s original couples, we got married hit a ratings slump and didn’t recover for months and months. a revamped ”season 2″ (i don’t know what ’season’ here indicates, since korean television doesn’t do ’seasons’―seriously) started airing this past may, and it chronicled the real-life marriage of a celebrity couple; because they are so unlikable (and so boring), the ratings dipped even lower.

lately, though, the addition of two “fake” couples has initiated a much-needed ratings boost. hell, even i’m watching the show again. and it’s all due to the fresh new couple, ga-in (of the girl group brown eyed girls) and jo kwon (of the male ballad group 2AM). they are young, vibrant, and they represent the older girl/younger boy couple demographic. he is really young and energetic (at 20) and she is aloof (and two years older); they make a very entertaining pair. [to the right is a screen capture of their first meeting; he dressed up as a squirrel.] 

watching korean variety shows can improve one’s korean in several ways: 1) we get to hear how people normally speak to each other, and 2) most of what the characters say are visible through subtitles on the tv screen (much like comic book storylines). i read faster than i listen (i’m a visual learner), so it’s a big help to me to listen to the korean and then have the language written out for me to see. with two of my senses hit with the language simultaneously, i can understand the intentions of the speaker better. furthermore, the tv screen will be cluttered with delightful commentary in bubble letters (much like comic book “pow!”s and “bam!”s). these subtitles and animated comments are not just cute, but super helpful.

another wonderful thing about korean shows is that they are always on. let’s take, for example, 1 night 2 days, which is part of KBS’s very popular happy sunday lineup. the weekly variety program debuted in august of 2007 and they most recently aired their 117th episode. which means, there has been a fresh 1 hour, 25 minute installment (almost) every sunday evening for the past two years. i do not know how the cast and crew keep up with the rigorous shooting schedule (i think most korean entertainers are workaholics), and why izzie stevens is on david letterman complaining about her “cruel and mean” work schedule.

i love 1 night 2 days. the highly-rated show is anchored by head emcee kang ho-dong (he currently hosts five (yes, i said five) shows), and features a likable all-male cast of four musicians, one comedian (aka “gag man”), and a great pyrenees. and what do they do? well, every week or every two weeks, they travel to a location in korea and spend approximately 1 night, 2 days there. throughout their journey and stay, they do tasks, work with the locals, or play certain games. it’s always entertaining, always hilarious, and i get to see a lot of korean locals (it’s kind of amazing how many “common” people end up on korean television—i don’t think that would fly in the US).

there are several things i adore about 1 night 2 days. one is kang ho-dong’s heavy gyeongsang-do (gyeongsang province) dialect (사투리); a native of jinju, the emcee, when angered, allows his southern dialect to erupt in his speech and, though, it is more difficult for me to understand him, what he says becomes way funnier. another is the morning call. at a designated time (usually really early), the fellas are woken up by the blaring sound of an old korean song, and they have to shoot out of their tents and complete a task (run a mini-marathon, stack a wok set back in correct order, etc.) while still in a sleep haze; if they are the first three to complete the task, they get to eat a good breakfast. the losers eat like, ramen, or something.

when i was on the master cleanse, i watched a lot of 1 night 2 days (what else was there to do?) and i noticed how food is so central to so many of their activities. oftentimes the cast and the production staff compete against each other in certain games. instead of wagering money, they wager food. if the staff wins, the cast eats like, ramen, or something. if the cast wins, they get the best of the local cuisine (btw: food looks so delicious on tv).

[right: singer lee seung gi (이승기) dons a ridiculous mushroom-style wig and has to announce the time every hour, on the hour (like a person who is mentally slow), to the complete strangers around him. he didn't voluntarily do this; he is being punished for losing at a game. i thought this whole schtick was insane and weird and priceless. ]  

but not everything about the show is fun and games. when they visit (or sometimes stay with) the locals, they form real bonds with them (called ‘jung’), especially with the elderly. and it’s refreshingly touching how these famous entertainers (and they all look like regular joes) connect with commonfolk. i’ve been reduced to tears on several occasions when the trip is finally over and the cast has to leave a town.

so it’s gotten to the point where i don’t even notice that i’m not understanding something. i could be sitting there for an hour, two hours, watching tv and completely unaware of the fact that i’m not understanding everything. true, i could be in a vegetative state and am too lazy to bother changing the channels. however, i believe that i’m absorbing some of the language by just watching korean tv. i get pronunciation and rhythm and vague sentence structures…all of which will come back to me later when i’m learning the language in a formal way. and when i’m especially confused and need one or two words to unlock a complex scene, i’ll take out my trusty korean-english dictionary and look those words up.

watching korean tv is win-win. i get entertainment and i kinda sorta learn stuff. and i get to know how much i understand, and how much i don’t.

♦ on tuesday afternoon, ms. kim and mr. lee, students in my non-english teachers training class on tuesdays and thursdays, invited me to a birthday lunch. we went to a pasta place and i enjoyed the meal very much. they’re the two strongest students in the four-, sometimes five-, member class, so i was able to converse with them comfortably. it’s so nice that my school has not only good english-speaking english teachers, but decent english-speaking non-english teachers as well (confused yet?). i remember back in the day when i was at dukwon middle school and the older english teachers weren’t able to converse with me. i was like, you teach english! (sorry, that sounds disrespectful…i did like them on a personal basis).

on tuesday evening, ms. suh and ms. lim invited me to a birthday dinner. that was very sweet of them. ms. lim gave me a scarf from tommy hilfiger as a ‘thank you’ for helping her with the english newspaper (and for being so non-high maintenance with the gifted students A class (she was the homeroom teacher of that class)). it’s totally not my style (the scarf is too sporty for me) but i don’t care (eh-eh eh eh eh); i will wear it on the days i don’t give a crap about what i look like (otherwise known as sundays). after dinner, ms. suh and i had coffee (well, i had a hot chocolate) at the hands coffee near keimyung university.

i had previously assumed that these two female teachers were strict (they are—to students) and crafty, out to get promotions by any means possible. how silly i was. they’re just two regular broads who work really hard and are good at their jobs, and who are actually kind of down-to-earth. i’m glad that i have good relationships with most of the english teachers at my school. and here i thought i was unlikable.

on wednesday, ms. kim, who is a temporary english teacher, gave me a gift set from the body shop. “i’m so sorry i didn’t know it was your birthday. i should know better because i am your desk partner,” she said while handing me this surprise of a gift. i feel bad that i bad-mouthed her for not teaching in english and leaving school at exactly 4:30pm every day. she’s a kind woman, as proven by the bottle of hair shampoo slash conditioner slash body wash she gifted me. seriously, this one magical bottle can shampoo, condition, and wash your entire body. insane!

people like me. they really like me.

♦ the school decided to push the final exams back by one week. i love how they change the schedule so abruptly and inconsiderately. all semester i was adhering to this magical schedule that i thought would stay relevant for the rest of the year. poor gullible me. they’re pushing our schedule back to make room for one day of swine flu vaccinations. friggin swine flu ruining my life.

tv spoilers alert!

♦ random opinions about entertainment:  i’m so happy nicole won america’s next top model; girlfriend totally deserved it. i’m afraid i don’t want to see the movie-musical nine; the critics are gonna have to convince me on this one. 30 rock is going downhill. is it me or are they featuring hip music less on grey’s anatomy? i cannot believe the last season of lost starts in february. the last season!!! more people should watch ugly betty; it’s still really really good. cristina and owen should have a portmanteau couple nickname: crowen? owstina? hang? yunt? yeah, these aren’t good.

i should read books.

♦ i sent ms. cynthia lord, author of rules, ten questions (from our students) over the weekend and she graciously sent me a response yesterday. she answered all ten questions and then some. how awesome is that?

♦ one of my students, jonathan (he was in my gifted students B class last year and he was also in the english play troop), sent me an email last week asking for information about how to download the news for free. our school is a boarding school and the students don’t have access to the internet every day. he wants to watch world reports and interviews with global leaders so that he can stay up-to-date with the news outside of korea; plus, he can simultaneously improve his english listening ability. he’s a special student, this one.

i did some digging (bitTorrent, korean software d-pop), and finally realized that iTunes offers daily CNN, ABC and MSNBC news broadcasts on podcast. i simply susbscribe (for free) and iTunes automatically downloads new episodes onto my hard drive (as M4V files) every morning. i convert the M4V files into AVIs (i use this program called “FLV to AVI MPEG WMV 3GP MP4 iPod Converter”) and i hand these files off to jonathan so that he can watch them on his PMP (portable multimedia player / electronic dictionary). kids today and their technology (i still have an aversion to windows vista and microsoft office 2007). i’m super proud that i figured out how to get him the files he needs; i just wanted to share.

♦ the M.net (korea’s mtv equivalent) asian music awards are on tomorrow. i am kind of excited about this. let’s put it on record that i have never (ever) watched the MTV music awards or the VMAs while living in the US (the grammys i’ve seen a few times). in korea, i love these music award shows. all the hot young acts come onstage and do their thing and lip-sync and dance. it’s fun. i have no interest seeing britney hump a boa constrictor and i don’t care if kanye west steals the spotlight from a teenage white girl. koreans (even the rappers) have manners; i don’t have to worry about MC 몽 disrespecting a member of SNSD. there’s so much bowing and there’s always crying—it’s wonderful. i love k-pop.

♦ i’m going to spend this weekend in the warmth of my bed. simply because i can.

there’s a korean word that i really like. it’s 섭섭하다 (sub sub hada), and its meaning is close to the english expressions “that’s too bad,” “that’s regrettable,” “that’s disappointing” and “that’s sad.” it’s not one of those verbs that translates clearly, or literally. along with 섭섭하다 (sub sub hada) are the words 아쉽다 (ah shwibda) and 아깝다 (ah ggabda); i group them all in the same family; they all share the same genetic features: droopy eyes and a defeated disposition.

that’s how i felt last saturday when my school’s acting troop did not win the 42nd english play contest, sponsored by the girl scouts of korea. let’s start at the very beginning, a very good place to start.

the six players, ms. suh (my supervisor) and i gathered at dongdaegu station dark and early saturday morning, at 5:45am. she distributed breakfast to us (kimbap) and i distributed the bottled waters i had just bought at family mart. after doing a last props/costumes check, we boarded the ktx on the 6:08 train and were on our merry way.

i felt pretty confident about our chances of winning. since the time we won regionals a month ago (read about it here), we upped our production by including sound effects (wind, bell tower chimes, thunder, background music) and a digital background (a black and white picture of a desolate town). we thought that those components would elevate us into the same league, production value-wise, as the other schools.

we rehearsed in the days leading up to the competition, and i timed our play, “the story of stone soup,” at around 12 minutes (after 10 minutes, there are minor point deductions, and after 12 minutes, major point deductions). the students seldom forgot their lines (they had pretty much memorized their own lines, plus the other players’ lines), and in my opinion, my kids were very very prepared.

however, i also knew that our competition was going to be tough. we were grouped with six other high schools across the country, all of them reputable schools, a couple of them extremely well-known: 학익여자고등학교, 한국외국어대학교부속 용인외국어고등학교 (one of the most prestigious foreign studies high schools in the nation), 화정고등학교, 천안쌍용고등학교, 포항중앙여자고등학교 and 부산국제외국어고등학교 (an international high school in busan). well, at least we weren’t competing against elementary school students.

we arrived at seoul station and took the subway to our destination. the facility was admittedly wonderful. i checked out the pristine stage and auditorium before the performances started, and got my laptop notebooks hooked up to their up-to-date sound equipment; the showrunners knew the answers to my questions and i began looking forward to a smooth day.

backstage, we got our props ready and the kids got into costumes and make-up. things backstage got a little hairy when students from all 7 schools were sharing the same space. we eyed each other frequently, but never really acknowledged each other’s presence. seriously, were we going to see these people ever again?

the show started on time, and we were able to watch the first two performances. performance 1, titled “scars into stars,” featured an all-girl cast playing high school students (yeah, a real stretch) who belonged to some school club (the members helped an impoverished family…or something). i don’t remember much of the play except for the set changes (they had admirable props and backdrops) and the full-on dance production of high school musical’s “we’re all in this together.” really.

performance 2 was okay. it was titled “borderless classroom” and it featured a 10-member mixed cast playing, you guessed it, high school students (their costumes were their school uniforms). because the players were hankuk academy students, their pronunciation was really good. like, native speakers good. without question, these kids, who carried themselves in a 재수없어 sort of way, had lived abroad; they reeked of pedigree and money. the play was about an indian student named abu (yes, one of them played an indian student, with an indian accent) who was getting bullied at a korean high school and was on the brink of getting kicked out because of his religious customs. it ended with all of the classmates wearing turbans on their heads, taking a stand; needless to say, it was exceedingly afterschool special. i threw up a little.

we missed the third and fourth performances, titled “together we can change the world” and “respect for our elders is an essential vitamin for a bright future,” respectively. did we really need to see them? no, we didn’t. by the way, the girl scouts of korea did give us one condition about the content of the plays; the plays had to follow the theme, “together we can change the world.” which is why our school did “the story of stone soup”—a perfect fit for the theme.  

though i was backstage acting as the sound guy and missed the full performance, i do believe my students made zero errors, and performed to the best of their abilities. ms. suh, who was in the audience taking pictures, even admitted that our students were outstanding. i was really proud of them for doing such a great job, and i know they were proud of themselves.

performance 6 was an enactment of the story of “sim cheong,” a famous korean folktale about a girl who sacrifices her life for her blind father. the actors were overly dramatic (they epitomized the term “overacting”) but the backgrounds were gorge. i do have a question, though: what does the story of sim cheong have anything to do with the theme, “together we can change the world”? i’m still trying to wrap my head around that.

performance 7 was preachy preachy preachy. five girls (of busan international high school) donned gowns and each represented a country in the miss universe pageant (yes, miss zambia was in full blackface make-up). they sat in their chairs and discussed the pros of their home country and the cons of other nations. and then they started to catfight, but eventually held hands and danced. or something like that. it was weird, but i was engaged.

after the high school division ended, we took a lunch break. we walked around the area (daebang station), but found nothing but an expensive buffet (VIPS) restaurant. at this point, ms. suh and i complained about how seoul sucks. i mean, we even walked next to an apartment complex and there are always food places near apartments; at least that’s what we thought. we missed daegu a lot, then, because there is always a restaurant nearby in daegu. wherever you go. always.

we finally stumbled on a hole-in-the-wall bunshik (분식 (like a korean diner)) place and settled for that. ms. suh and i talked about the prospects of our winning the competition. we both felt like our team did the best job doing a real play. there was a story (a beginning, middle, and end), it wasn’t abstract, it wasn’t preachy or hokey, and there was no arbitrary musical number. we thought we’d get at least a bronze or silver medal.

after lunch, we went back to the auditorium, where we sat through five elementary school productions. let me tell you about one of these extravagant productions, the one simply titled, “the lion king.” these kids were in animal costumes (like the broadway lion king) and performed to the entire soundtrack of the disney animated feature, songs and all. even “hakuna matata” and “can you feel the love tonight” (can you imagine how awkward that was for me to watch?). it was long, tedious, and totally unnecessary (the choreography was very impressive, though). furthermore, and this is not a good thing, the kids were singing along with the soundtrack, not to the soundtrack. minus points!

the judges took a five minute break and all the teams sat in their assigned areas in the auditorium, waiting patiently. a twenty minute long advertisement about the girl scouts played (of course), but then it was time. they announced the honorable mention teams first…honorable mention goes to…taegu foreign language high school! and busan international high school! and pohang jungang girls’ high school!

there was polite applause, gasps, and disappointed sighs (that would be my kids). i was like, what the eff? how can you put us in the same level as “sim cheong,” a story that has nothing to do with the theme?!??! it was weird. and let me add that i find it queer that the three schools that placed the lowest in the high school division were all from gyeongsang-do (gyeongsang province). um, something ain’t right.

—

 i’ve since adopted tim gunn’s mantra, “it’s a matter of taste.” the judges didn’t like us, and i just have to accept that. my opinion is different, but you know, i’m not unbiased here. what really kinda pisses me off though, is the fact that hankuk academy of foreign studies won daesang (the grand prize and a ₩1,000,000 cash reward≈$1,000). yeah, they were good, but they weren’t the best play; far from it (i thought imjin elementary school (임진초) was the best). the only thing they had was good pronunciation. oh, and prestige.

which makes complete sense. of course they won. they’re hankuk academy of foreign studies. i knew deep down that they would win. the minute i saw their name on the program, it was a foregone conclusion. i know i sound like a sore loser, but seriously, they did not deserve to win. that is complete bullshit.

—

anyway, our kids were really disappointed. they were quiet the entire way home. i could understand their feelings; if i was ten years younger (that’s how old they are), i’d be super disappointed with the results, too. but they shouldn’t be sad for too long. they did the best they could, and that’s all anyone can ask of themselves.

on monday, these six students got me a cheesecake and a card for my birthday. on the card they wrote:

we sincerely appreciate your help during our preparation—thanks, really!

even though the result wasn’t that satisfying as we thought : (

but it was a pleasant and important memory before becoming 3rd grade and 2nd grade students. thanks again and enjoy the cheesecake.

sweet, right?

immediately after the competition, i looked at ms. suh and said to her point-blank, “i am not doing this again next year!” now that i’ve had a few days to get used to our ‘honorable mention’ (and ₩100,000≈$100 prize (and trophy)) place, i know that, if students are interested, i’ll totally supervise their play next year. this was our first year to enter this competition, and we did a respectable job. next year, we’ll do even better.

i realized that the judges prefer original stories as opposed to adapted stories, that they like simple, yet effective productions, that they want a play that’s slightly corny. these are the things that they want. and if i supervise again next year, that is what i will demand of the students.

i imagine all drama productions to be like this: difficult, time-consuming, at times agonizing, always tiring, but ultimately rewarding. i’ll remember these students well, and i’ll think of our play production fondly. and i’ll remember lines from our play even years from now.

sigh. i still feel a bit sub sub hada.

except today, november 16th, really is my birthday. people who share my birthday include chinua achebe (b. 1930), lisa bonet (b. 1967), oksana baiul (b. 1977) and maggie gyllenhaal (b. 1977). 

i seldom celebrate my birthday because i don’t like getting so much attention. today, many teachers and students said “congratulations” to me, which i still find amusing. you see, koreans will say, “생일 축하합니다” which translates to something like, “congratulations on your birthday” or “celebrate well.” but since i’m an american, people at school will simply say, “congratulations!” not knowing that a plain old “congratulations” is not something one says to another on one’s birthday.

briefly, i think, “i never once thought that i had anything to do with the day i was born, so what were they congratulating me for? for surviving until now?”

yesterday (sunday), the significant other, who took the day off from work, and i went downtown for a nice meal at a new japanese restaurant. the beloved’s friend is the head chef there, so he gave us a lot of food. we had katsu of many different kinds (pork, chicken, fish, shrimp), udon, a chicken salad (check the message on the plate) and my personal favorite, tonkatsu nabe (돈까스 나베), which is regular tonkatsu sitting in a hotpot (nabe means cooking pot in japanese) of broth (i love wet foods, as creepy as that sounds). and i ate the entire thing, because i am gross.  

afterwards, we got some cupcakes at a new bake shop called—what else?—”cupcakes.” for ₩2,500 each, you can enjoy a mini-cupcake decorated to an inch of its life (seriously, check out their menu). after the chatty salesgirl wrapped up my half-dozen assortment of cupcakes, she told me to handle the box with care, as if i was carrying my lover in my hands. i nodded politely and smiled. when we tried the confections at home, they proved to look sweeter than they tasted.

old man winter is finally here, and man, is he bitter. it has been hovering around 25°F at night and 45°F in the daytime. of course, the wind makes it that much colder. i love the cold (i’d rather be cold than hot). i love winter clothes. i love being with someone in a warm bed with the windows rattling from the heavy winds. that’s my idea of a perfect day. i have very mundane ideals.

this morning, i arrived to work and found a birthday card from diana on my desk (sweet!). later on, the students in our english play (i will talk about how they did last saturday in a later post) delivered me a cheesecake via ms. shin. and two classes sang happy birthday to me. and it was a nice day. and ms. shin got me a lamp (that looks like a tulip?) and a cake from baskin robbins. this evening, i ate one bite of the cheesecake and half of the ice cream cake. because i am gross.

i also called my mother in the afternoon because i missed six calls from her earlier in the day (i was in class, but that wasn’t a good enough reason as to why i didn’t pick up on the first ring). she told me to eat noodles today, it being my birthday and all. we are chinese, and the chinese eat noodles on our birthdays, to symbolize the long (like noodles) life we hope to have. so it’s okay that i didn’t eat miyeok guk today, since i’m not ethnically korean. i’m part of two asian cultures; i just have to follow the traditions of one or the other (to my convenience), not both.

after school, i took both cakes and the flower lamp (pretty, right?) home and ordered jjajangmyeon. i should have eaten something more soupy, but jjangjangmyeon was fine. in truth, i wasn’t really hungry this evening, but the thought of an early death scared me into eating the entire bowl of noodles. buddha forbid me to die early because i didn’t eat my noodles on my friggin birthday.

and i don’t really celebrate my birthday. at all. but here i am, a belly full of cakes and noodles.

♦ it has been cloudy and cold all week. but tomorrow, the clouds are going to part and we’re just going to be left with the cold. time to pull out my winter coat (note: i’m in the market for a new one!).

♦ i’ll be going to sleep very soon (it’s only 9pm) because i have to wake up super early tomorrow morning / later tonight. our english play troop is scheduled to perform tomorrow morning at 10am, and we’re taking the 6:08am train to seoul. six kids, two adults, and a handful of props.

we have some tough competition (6 other groups from high schools across the nation, including several of those prestigious foreign language high schools), but i’m just going to tell our kids to focus on the performance. it’ll be the last time they perform “the story of stone soup,” so i hope they make it a good one. if we don’t win, it won’t matter; the important thing is that we’re proud of ourselves and that we had a good time.

♦ this past wednesday was pepero day, which, if you’ll remember from my post last year, is one of those made-up, corporate holidays. the beloved gave me 13 boxes of pepero. because i am loved. and because i need to be fattened? i gotta say, the lotte peperos are way tastier than their lesser wannabes.

♦ this past thursday was the evil sooneung day for high school seniors. our first and second graders didn’t have classes, and neither did i. i stayed in bed for a good part of the day, but then went to school to rehearse with my actors. working on off-days; that’s what i do.

♦ i turn 27 on monday (nov. 16th), american age. sigh.

did not know this word existed to represent the 2000s. but the brits use it, and since i have no alternative term, i will also refer to the days between january 1, 2009 and december 31, 2009, as “the noughties.”

the times uk and the telegraph recently published their lists of the top 100 films of the noughties, and while i respect the telegraph and all that, their list blows (seriously? fahrenheit 9/11 is the best film of the decade?). and while i absolutely respect the top 100 most critically acclaimed films from the web site ‘they shoot pictures, don’t they?‘ i think that list is a teensy bit english-centric; plus, i have seen almost all of those pictures.

the times uk list is pretty good (it is heavy on the european films). i’m especially impressed by the inspired choice for the top spot, michael haneke’s cache; it is a dark and twisty film that deftly makes you question the world around you. he is such a good director.

movies feed me like books feed readers. i watch movies, i respect movies, i pay attention to movies. i hate people who don’t respect movies. those would be the idiots who talk, eat, or sleep during the film. i don’t see movies with bad moviegoers.

i’m going to take the list of 100 top films of the noughties and try to watch most of them in the upcoming months. it’ll give me something to do besides rewatching all of 30 rock over and over and over again. the school year is coming to a close, and that means i’ll have more ‘me’ time. and what better way to spend ‘me’ time than with some loverly films? [yes, i still plan on reading and working a little and studying korean.]

an asterisk (*) indicates that i’ve seen the film, and will not need to see it again. i will comment on certain films briefly. you can tell a lot about people by seeing what kind of movies they watch. as for me, i tend not to watch any biopics, anything to do with the holocaust, anything with soldiers, any stories that take place in africa, anything with working-class british people (except mike leigh films—i adore mike leigh). i’ll watch anything with nicole kidman or laura linney or julianne moore or meryl streep, and i’ll almost always give movie-musicals a try, and i’ll watch anything that is or could’ve been produced by miramax (in other words, oscar-bait).

there are a couple of films i would personally include on a list of the top 100 films of the past ten years: crouching tiger, hidden dragon (2000), you can count on me (2000), amelie (2000), elephant (2003) and finding nemo (2003)

*100.  the devil wears prada (2006): love it.
99. battle royale (2000)
*98. crash (2004): i hate this movie. with a burning passion.
97. sympathy for lady vengeance (2005)
96. morvern callar (2002)
95. amores perros (2000)
94. an inconvenient truth (2006)
*93. house of flying daggers (2004): breathtakingly stunning.
92. dirty pretty things (2002)
91. lantana (2001)
*90. wedding crashers (2005): i actually thought it was pretty funny.
*89. school of rock (2003): also, pretty funny.
*88. the royal tenenbaums (2001): wes anderson’s best, hands down.
87. time and winds (2006)
86. the orphanage (2007)
*85. the piano teacher (2001): this film is brutal.
84. hotel rwanda (2004)
83. the wind that shakes the barley (2006)
82. yi yi: a one and a two (2000)
81. in the loop (2009)
*80. me, you and everyone we know (2005): yes, quirky. but also blah.
79. le grand voyage (2004)
*78. about schmidt (2002): like election better, but this one’s aiight.
77. bowling for columbine (2002)
76. control (2007)
*75. talk to her (2002): brilliantly weird.
74. pan’s labyrinth (2006)
73. the beat that my heart skipped (2005)
72. the hurt locker (2008)
*71. monsters, inc. (2001): it’s not my favorite pixar, but it’s super cute.
70. the class (2008)
69. persepolis (2007)
*68. memento (2000): this did not work for me. i thought it was gimmicky.
67. gomorrah (2008)
66. city of god (2002)
65. waltz with bashir (2008)
64. l’enfant (2005)
63. there will be blood (2007)
62. anchorman (2004): the legend of ron burgundy (2004)
*61. spirited away (2001): fantasticals.
*60. the squid and the whale (2005): i’ll watch anything with laura linney.
59. etre et avoir (2002)
*58. shaun of the dead (2004): also, pretty funny.
57. the consequences of love (2004)
56. volver (2006)
55. chopper (2000)
54. bad santa (2003)
53. milk (2008)
*52. the constant gardener (2005): learned a lot.
51. the son’s room (2001)
*50. the lord of the rings: the return of the king (2003): liked it a lot.  
*49. knocked up (2007): not as good as i expected.
*48. little miss sunshine (2006): it was okay.
*47. my summer of love (2004): eh. it’s very british.
46. traffic (2000)
45. touching the void (2003)
44. under the sand (2000)
*43. the dark knight (2008): i was confused for most of the movie.
*42. the incredibles (2004): the script is perfection.
41. children of men (2006)
40. syriana (2005)
*39. lost in translation (2003): this movie is gross.
*38. mulholland drive (2001): a brilliant mind trip. love it.
*37. in the mood for love (2000): a work of art.
36. capturing the friedmans (2004)
*35. y tu mama tambien (2002): meh.
*34. finding nemo (2003): it’s my favorite pixar.
33. monsoon wedding (2002)
*32. gladiator (2000): what? why is this here?
31. iraq in fragments (2006)
30. irreversible (2002)
*29. being john malkovich (2000): i love anything meta.
28. the diving bell and the butterfly (2007)
*27. sideways (2004): i don’t think i was this film’s audience.
*26. minority report (2002): a great great film.
*25. dancer in the dark (2000): will rip your heart out. devastating.
*24. 28 days later… (2002): scary.
23. man on wire (2002)
*22. far from heaven (2002): who was robbed of an oscar? yeah, that would be julianne moore.
*21. good night, and good luck (2005): a solid film. but very masculine.
20. donnie darko (2001)
19. united 93 (2006)
18. let the right one in (2008)
*17. brokeback mountain (2005): how do i love thee? let me count the ways.
*16. eternal sunshine of the spotless mind (2004): absolutely wonderful.
15. downfall (2004)
14. 4 months, 3 weeks & 2 days (2007)
13. this is england (2007)
12. the lives of others (2006)
11. borat (2006)
10. hunger (2008)
*9. the queen (2006): good. but number nine?
8. casino royale (2006)
7. the last king of scotland (2006)
6. slumdog millionaire (2008)
5. team america: world police (2004)
4. grizzly man (2005)
*3. no country for old men (2007): cold.
2. the bourne supremacy/ultimatum (2004, 2007)
*1. hidden (cache) (2005): this film will mess you up psychologically.

as you can see, i have not seen a lot of films. definitely not a lot of european fair. and being in korea is preventing me from seeing independent films. argh! we’ll start with this list, but i’m not promising myself anything. it’s not gonna be one of those julie powell-inspired blogs.