friday night was tough. the significant other gave me a call around 8:15pm and told me that another couple (i call them tweedle-dee and tweedle-dum) had invited us to go to the beach for an overnight visit. thinking, hm, it might be nice to do something other than sit in my apartment, i agreed to the plan.

on the bus ride to dongdaegu station (the place of gathering), i struggled. you know the day right before a school project or an essay is due, and you haven’t started on it, and you just stay up all night milling around your computer, wishing that a hurricane would suddenly come and rip your house to shreds so school would get canceled the next day? i had that feeling (but really intense) burst in my head every five minutes or so.

i didn’t know if i was the desiring of food, or if i was hungry, or i just needed to chew on something, but i took this trip to the beach as some sort of mid-term exam, and i just kept picturing myself failing it. being in group situations? that will involve food. going to the beach? that will involve some fish (which i had been craving). staying up all night on the beach? that will involve hours of awakeness (which, in turn, means that sleep cannot fill my belly).

my head hurt like a bitch. i figured a lot of things out on that bus ride. i had not eaten anything solid for an entire week. it’s kind of a cool accomplishment, but i didn’t enjoy the process wholeheartedly. sure, i loved the fact that i was losing weight (i think i dropped at least 15 pounds (7 kilograms)), but…it didn’t make me feel happy. maybe on days 1 and 2 and 3 i felt normal, but at the end of day seven? miserable. my head was exploding on the bus.

and i realized how much i love food. i once took my friend darney to the airport really early in the morning and on the drive back, i started to doze off at the wheel. it was insane. i would be at the wheel, and i could feel the heavy lids just close. i almost got into an accident. i almost died. at that moment i realized how much i was willing to give for some sleep because i was thinking, oh, what is death compared to a moment of shut eye? 

a lot of bargaining went on in my mind on that bus. i literally imagined myself and a shadowy figure negotiating some sort of deal. i would give him 30 minutes of exercise a day if he gave me permission to quit the cleanse. i started seeing the benefit, no, need for exercise on a frequent basis in order to maintain my goal weight. oh, i have to like, exercise if i want to continue eating the way i do. i started to think of things that would help me in losing the part of my midsection that is so unflattering when i wear my 30-inch waist dress pants. i could buy a scale; that will keep me consistent. and if the only part of my body that i have issues with is my midsection, then i can just, i dunno, do crunches every day, you idiot.

by the time i reached my destination, i had made the decision to stop the master cleanse. it would be exactly seven days. no more lemons, no more maple syrup, no more spicy lemonade, no more salt water flushes. i was done. i needed to lose however many pounds quickly, and i did that. the rest of the weight, i can do by myself through short, daily exercises.

so i didn’t succeed. i am usually no quitter, but this time, the hurricane came and swept my house away.

we went to pohang, a city on the eastern coast of korea. it was windy but not chilly. and kind of lively (the denizens of pohang like to take walks on the beach at 1 in the morning, apparently). i ate some sushi (which i hate) and cucumbers. none of that easing into my regular eating habits bullshit. i was just happy to be eating. food is life!

and i finally realized—in order to continue eating what i like, i have to think about two things: moderation, and exercise. hey, that sounds like i kind of succeeded, right? though i didn’t stay on the master cleanse for the whole ten days, i did manage to achieve some goals: A) i lost weight, B) i came out on the other end more appreciative of not just food in general, but really good, healthy food, and C) i’m taking this cleanse as a sort of beginning to another round of being healthy.

sounds okay, right? C+ for effort.

day seven was a little difficult. i kind of felt hungry the entire day. that whole zen, wonderful, brightly colored feeling everyone else gets after the fifth day hump is not happening for me. i think more about food now and i’m craving some fish and new england clam chowder. it’s 8:00pm and i’ve already finished the allotted 2 liters of spicy lemonade.

frankly speaking, i just want to cave in and eat something solid. but i know that i’m going to binge on whatever i get my hands on and then regret it afterwards. so, i’m sticking to the plan and hoping that this weekend will treat me well. hopefully, saturday and sunday will be a breeze (i’ll just watch tv shows or movies or study korean or read a book or take walks) and monday will be day ten. by then, i’ll be so happy it’s day ten that i won’t mind the cleanse at all—plus, i won’t need to squeeze any more friggin lemons!

three more days. i can do it.

two things happened today.

i wandering in the 2nd grade hallway, looking for the captain of our english play troupe, when ms. shin found me. she was holding two paper cups, one filled with green tea, the other, coffee. “william teacher, would you like some coffee?” she asked and smiled. i took the miniature cup of coffee and drank half of it. tasted okay, so i took another gulp when i realized, midway, that i was on the master cleanse.

i ran to the nearest boys’ room and spit the second gulp out. “teacher, are you okay?” asked a student named justin, who was primping himself in the mirror. “yes, i’m fine.” “was it too hot?” “no, i just forgot that i can’t drink coffee.” “oh, okay.” and he went on with his primping.

effing ms. shin, out to ruin me. i confronted her in the second grade teachers’ office. she, too, had totally forgotten that i was on the master cleanse. i am an idiot. ::sigh:: i hate coffee; i rarely drink it and i cannot believe i “ruined” my cleanse with something as stupid as coffee. but it goes to show you how high i’ve shelved this hunger thing, at least at school. i’m glad i’m not on vacation right now, because not working would get me thinking about food every thirty seconds. at work, i just concentrate on working.

the other thing that happened today was equally repugnant. i made the significant other buy me a package of sea salt last night and today, i gave myself the sea water flush (aka ‘SWF’ in the master cleanse web community). basically, it’s 2 teaspoonful of uniodized sea salt mixed in a liter of water. you wait for the salt to dissolve, chug the entire liter, wait an hour, and experience the spewing of everything inside your entire body out into the toilet bowl.

yeah, totally disgusting. you know what else is disgusting? the mixture you have to drink. it’s like drinking mercury. or liquified vaseline. or galveston bay ocean water. it’s terrible. i’d rather do all the food challenges of all one hundred seasons of survivor than drink another liter of this lukewarm concoction. however, it does work.

i have to be honest. i thought a lot about food today. however, i stayed strong and overcame temptations. seriously, about an hour ago, i was willing to drown a puppy for some ramen and eggs. ramen and eggs—food i would never choose to eat (you know, back when i was eating).

most of my food thoughts centered around vegetables, for some reason. i hate vegetables, but my mind is craving some vegetables, especially korean radish, 무 (mu), in some hot soup. that sounds like heaven. i almost want to call my mother and ask her for some vegetable-heavy recipes.

one of the benefits of the lemon detox is that, once “completed,” you no longer crave junk food (like mcdonald’s), and you start to appreciate the wonders of fresh fruits and vegetables and unprocessed foods. i think i’m getting on board with that. when i think about food now, i think about food that i personally cook, not food that i can order. i think about markets and chopping and steaming and boiling; seldom do i think about meat. it’s a curious thing.

i still don’t know how i’m going to ease my way off of this cleanse. i’ve read on various web sites that you have to slowly ween yourself of the lemonade (by drinking pure fruit juice) and gradually reintroduce heavier food items. i think the process takes days. of course, i don’t plan on going to outback steakhouse on day eleven. instead, i think soup is the way to go. plus, it’s really cold outside, and soup is perfect in winter weather.

in a few hours, i will have succeeded in staying on the master cleanse for five whole days. five whole days and no wavers. my goal is to stay on it for the standard ten days. in other words, i’ve reached the halfway mark. snaps for me!

when my cayenne pepper arrived last tuesday, the package also included a small container of aloe laxative tablets. i disregarded it immediately but today, after i realized i hadn’t done a number two (sorry for that) in like, four days, i searched for the container, found it, and took three tablets. they worked immediately.

day four of the master cleanse is almost at an end, and, like yesterday, no major changes. my pants fit better, which is glorious, and my teeth are still super-sensitive, and my tongue is constantly chalky, but no headaches, no dizziness, no lack of energy, no hunger pangs. well, whenever i do want to eat something, i take a swig of the “spicy lemonade” and that feeling goes away.

today i went to e-mart and bought 14 more lemons. did i say that they were fifty cents a pop? i must’ve been crazy. lemons are around $1.00 each, and to date, i’ve already spent around $30 on 30 lemons. it’s kind of an expensive diet. and my hands are tired of hand-squeezing each sucker to its last drop.

tomorrow is day five (the halfway mark), and i expect it to be the toughest day. but we shall see…

i really want to say something crazy or amazing, or even interesting, but seriously, i feel no difference. no headaches, no fainting spells, no hunger, no desire to eat anything. energy level is normal, and no sores or cramps. my tongue is a bit chalky from the lemon juice, but nothing that brushing my teeth won’t fix. oh, well my teeth are super sensitive when i do brush my teeth (that’s something). i assume the lemon’s acidity has eaten away a layer off of my molars.

i guess i miss food a little bit, but it’s not to fill the hunger in my stomach. i associate food with social gatherings, and having lunch with my significant other or having dinner with a co-worker, or sharing a snack with a stranger are things i kind of miss (minus the sharing of snacks with strangers—we don’t do that). when we eat we sit down together and enjoy each other’s company. i miss that part of eating, not the actual food itself.

day three is almost over. i am not hotly anticipating my first meal (in a week!), which is what i expected myself to do after three days without food. in fact, i haven’t given much thought to what i’ll be eating next tuesday. maybe a salad? bibimbap? eh, we’ll cross that bridge when we get to it.

this morning, i comfortably fit into my brown slacks. this is a sign of good things to come. if i had a scale, i’d weigh myself every day to track my progress, but i don’t. oh well.

the following article was in the paper (yeongnam ilbo), and i forgot to mention it earlier. this, of course, is about our school winning the citywide english play competition. it’s all in korean, and i cannot translate the entire thing effectively, so ignore or enjoy. [i especially enjoy the literal translation of "stone soup" ('돌 수프'), which sounds so funny in korean.]

i did get word from ms. suh today that the school is paying for both her and me to accompany the students to seoul on the 14th. we’ll be leaving on the train at 6am in the morning, but whatever. unfortunately, the students have to pay for their own transportation (that’s pretty sucky). however, it won’t be an overnight trip, like i expected. no fancy hotels for us.

lots of things to rehearse!

대구 걸스카우트 영어연극 예선    대구외고 ‘돌 수프 이야기’ 大賞  다음달 14일 서울 본선대회 참가

김수영기자

한국걸스카우트 대구연맹이 17일 대구연맹 강당에서 연 ‘제42회 전국 청소년 영어연극 예선대회’에서 대구외국어고의 ‘돌 수프 이야기’가 대상을 받았다.

영어연극을 통해 청소년들에게 국제공용어인 영어를

17일 한국걸스카우트 대구연맹 강당에서 열린 전국 청소년 영어연극 예선대회.

좀더 잘 구사할 수 있는 계기를 주고, 학교 교과과정에서 체험할 수 없는 새로운 경험의 장을 마련하기위해 실시한 행사다.

금상은 경동초등의 ‘모두를 위한 세상’, 은상은 동평초등의 ‘흥부와 놀부’, 동상은 경동초등의 ‘브레멘 음악대’, 장려상은 동일초등의 ‘지구를 지켜라!’·학정초등의 ‘우리는 소중해요’·지산초등의 ‘너는 특별하단다’가 각각 수상했다.

대상팀만 본선에 참가하며 본선대회는 11월14일 서울 여성프라자에서 열린다.

2009-10-21 08:21:03 입력

i took amanda’s suggestion and created an account over at wordchamp. there i added 6500 2500 common korean words into my bank of flashcards, and got to work, using the “Absolute Recall” feature. essentially a digital flashcard program, absolute recall tested me on some old and new vocabulary words. 

for example, a word like “교포” (gyopo) would flash onscreen and i’d have to type in the definition, which is “a Korean living abroad.” the downside to the program is that it only accepts definitions that are word-for-word what the program deems correct. in other words, if i type in “an overseas Korean” i get an Incorrect! which is not cool (별로에요).

anyhow, i learned a lot of new words, and i will use them in my nightly journal-writing. since the last two weeks at work have been a bit hectic, i’ve been slacking on the korean. however, since i have more time now (no gifted middle school classes! no breakfast, lunch, or dinner!) i hope to be more studious.

i’ll look over toward my kitchen cabinets and, very briefly, think to myself, why are two members of the taliban staring at me? day two and no change. a few episodes of light-headedness but no aches, no hunger pangs and, fortunately, no desire to eat. i’m expecting these things to eventually happen, without a doubt, but they haven’t occurred yet.

i have school tomorrow, which means i’m bottling some of the “spicy lemonade” to take with me to work. it should be interesting explaining to my office mates why i’m drinking something that resembles three day old urine (yep, i said it).

i was born in seoul, south korea, but my family is not ethnically korean. we are ethnically chinese. though many people define nationality based on one’s place of birth, most asians don’t. i have never in my life called myself korean (not that there’s anything wrong with being korean), but i have oftentimes called korea my home country.

a few weeks back, i took a trip to seoul to see my friend tristan act in a couple of five-act plays. she recently joined the seoul players in “night of 1000 plays” and was to be featured in two of the productions. i arrived in itaewon with low expectations (i kinda despise the existence of itaewon—a district in seoul that reminds me too much of new york city (queens, not manhattan)).

#1 the venue was a bar. #2 there was a price of admission (₩10,000, which tristan paid). #3 the seoul players are really too gung-ho about the theatre. whatever. i stayed and watched the plays (they were all pretty badly written and very strange) until intermission, when tristan, who had already completed her two appearances (she was loverly), gave us (me and a group of her friends) the thumbs-up to hightail it outta there. we celebrated her seoul players debut by going to a bar called bungalow, where i failed in pretending to enjoy the company.

after a few drinks, tristan and i grabbed a cab to go to her place. “yeonhui-dong IC,” she told the cab driver. “wait, you live in yeonhui-dong?!” i thought i misheard her. maybe she wasn’t speaking the korean words properly. she could not have said yeonhui-dong. i used to live in yeonhui-dong, when i was a child. our old house is there, albeit rebuilt and remodeled. but no, tristan had said yeonhui-dong.

as the taxi went through the neighborhoods and landmarks to get to yeonhui-dong (연희동)—hongdae, hyundai department store (which used to be grace department store), sinchon, severance hospital, yonsei university (ewha university is also nearby)—i looked out the window and recognized everything. it’s kind of like seeing something you once saw in a dream; kind of like déjà vu. these are places i used to see every day during the first five or six years of my life (with my mother, of course, because i was always with my mother). and now, they’re still there, but different.

“there used to be a supermarket called sahruga in my neighborhood—” “i go there all the time,” tristan interrupted. as the cab drove closer and closer to her apartment building, i realized that we were literally right across the street from my kindergarten. and that’s where we got off. the bitch lives in my old neighborhood, and i am uber-jealous. because yeonhui-dong is a nice neighborhood. according to wikipedia:

Yeonhui-dong is a dong, neighbourhood of Seodaemun-gu in Seoul, South Korea. It is an area in Seoul near Yonsei University. It is mainly just one street with several intersections where former South Korean presidents also live. Seoul Foreign School is also located in Yeonhi-dong.

wikipedia doesn’t say that back in the day, yeonhui-dong had one of the largest chinese populations. there is still a chinese high school in the neighborhood (where my dad used to work). oh, and that note about former south korean presidents living there…totally true. one of our neighbors was former president roh tae-woo. that’s why there were so many security guards patrolling our streets. i was a privileged child.

after a night’s sleep at tristan’s place (which is infested with mosquitoes, by the way (my right arm grew twice in size because of all the bites, and one sucker actually bit my lower lip (which hurt like a mother))), we took a walk around the neighborhood. sahruga (사러가), the old supermarket, is still there. it looked and felt exactly as it did in the eighties and nineties. there is still a ddeokbokki (떡볶이) stand where we used to patronize at least once a week (because they have the best ddeokbokki). since we had just eaten lunch, i didn’t get any ddeokbokki and we left.

we climbed up a hill, where, near the top, is the location of my old house. i was surprised that i knew where to turn and where to climb. as expected, the distance didn’t seem as long as it did when i was younger. back in the day, we would buy groceries at sahruga and walk forever to our home. i used to curse the hill that housed my house.

the scenery is gorge. i don’t mean to make it sound like there are ponds and water fountains and parks and trees everywhere. what i mean is, since yeonhui-dong is a strictly residential neighborhood, you can find peace and quiet among the expensive cars and gated houses; it’s super super quiet there. “this is a nice neighborhood with real gardens and real dogs,” tristan uttered, after spotting a great pyrenees behind the gate of a stately home.

finally, we reached the destination—my old home, which looks nothing like my old home. a few years ago, they demolished our house and rebuilt an apartment building in its place. we still hold the deed to one of the apartments, but some korean family lives in it currently.

tristan was nice enough to take the trip down memory lane with me. she was patient and didn’t tell me how annoying i was being, pointing and ooh-ing and aah-ing over everything.

i thanked her companionship by taking her to an old boulangerie called “peter pan.” they have the best homemade popsicles, and it’s a wonder that they’re still in business after all these years. i put my mouth to a vanilla-flavored pop and the rush of childhood memories overcame me. it’s so nice to have something taste exactly the same after all that time, because everything else changes.